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“ihadnotbeenlonginhertfordshire,beforeisaw,incommonwithothers,thatbingleypreferredyoureldersistertoanyotheryoungwomaninthecountry.butitwasnottilltheeveningofthedanceatnetherfieldthatihadanyapprehensionofhisfeelingaseriousattachment.ihadoftenseenhiminlovebefore.atthatball,whileihadthehonourofdancingwithyou,iwasfirstmadeacquainted,bysirwilliamlucas'saccidentalinformation,thatbingley'sattentionstoyoursisterhadgivenrisetoageneralexpectationoftheirmarriage.hespokeofitasacertainevent,ofwhichthetimealonecouldbeundecided.fromthatmomentiobservedmyfriend'sbehaviourattentively;andicouldthenperceivethathispartialityformissbennetwasbeyondwhatihadeverwitnessedinhiyoursisterialsowatched.herlookandmannerswereopen,cheerful,andengagingasever,butwithoutanysymptomofpeculiarregard,andiremainedconvincedfromtheevening'sscrutiny,thatthoughshereceivedhisattentionswithpleasure,shedidnotinvitethembyanyparticipationofsentiment.ifyouhavenotbeenmistakenhere,imusthavebeeninerror.yoursuperiorknowledgeofyoursistermustmakethelatterprobable.ifitbeso,ifihavebeenmisledbysucherrortoinflictpainonher,yourresentmenthasnotbeenunreasonable.butishallnotscrupletoassert,thattheserenityofyoursister'scountenanceandairwassuchasmighthavegiventhemostacuteobserveraconvictionthat,howeveramiablehertemper,herheartwasnotlikelytobeeasilytouched.thatiwasdesirousofbelievingherindifferentiscertain—butiwillventuretosaythatmyinvestigationanddecisionsarenotusuallyinfluencedbymyhopesorfears.ididnotbelievehertobeindifferentbecauseiwishedit;ibelieveditonimpartialconviction,astrulyasiwisheditinreason.myobjectionstothemarriagewerenotmerelythosewhichilastnightacknowledgedtohavetheutmostrequiredforceofpassiontoputaside,inmyowncase;thewantofconnectioncouldnotbesogreataneviltomyfriendastome.buttherewereothercausesofrepugnance;causeswhich,thoughstillexisting,andexistingtoanequaldegreeinbothinstances,ihadmyselfendeavouredtoforget,becausetheywerenotimmediatelybeforeme.thesecausesmustbestated,thoughbriefly.thesituationofyourmother'sfamily,thoughobjectionable,wasnothingincomparisontothattotalwantofproprietysofrequently,soalmostuniformlybetrayedbyherself,byyourthreeyoungersisters,andoccasionallyevenbyyourfather.pardonme.itpainsmetooffendyou.butamidstyourconcernforthedefectsofyournearestrelations,andyourdispleasureatthisrepresentationofthem,letitgiveyouconsolationtoconsiderthat,tohaveconductedyourselvessoastoavoidanyshareofthelikecensure,ispraisenolessgenerallybestowedonyouandyoureldersister,thanitishonourabletothesenseanddispositionofboth.iwillonlysayfartherthatfromwhatpassedthatevening,myopinionofallpartieswasconfirmed,andeveryinducementheightenedwhichcouldhaveledmebefore,topreservemyfriendfromwhatiesteemedamostunhappyconnection.heleftnetherfieldforlondon,onthedayfollowing,asyou,iamcertain,remember,withthedesignofsoonreturning.
“thepartwhichiactedisnowtobeexplained.hissisters'uneasinesshadbeenequallyexcitedwithmyown;ourcoincidenceoffeelingwassoondiscovered,and,alikesensiblethatnotimewastobelostindetachingtheirbrother,weshortlyresolvedonjoininghimdirectlyinlondon.weaccordinglywent—andthereireadilyengagedintheofficeofpointingouttomyfriendthecertainevilsofsuchachoice.idescribed,andenforcedthemearnestly.but,howeverthisremonstrancemighthavestaggeredordelayedhisdetermination,idonotsupposethatitwouldultimatelyhavepreventedthemarriage,haditnotbeensecondedbytheassurancethatihesitatednotingiving,ofyoursister'sindifference.hehadbeforebelievedhertoreturnhisaffectionwithsincere,ifnotwithequalregard.butbingleyhasgreatnaturalmodesty,withastrongerdependenceonmyjudgementthanonhisown.toconvincehim,therefore,thathehaddeceivedhimself,wasnoverydifficultpoint.topersuadehimagainstreturningintohertfordshire,whenthatconvictionhadbeengiven,wasscarcelytheworkofamoment.icannotblamemyselfforhavingdonethusmuch.thereisbutonepartofmyconductinthewholeaffaironwhichidonotreflectwithsatisfaction;itisthaticondescendedtoadoptthemeasuresofartsofarastoconcealfromhimyoursister'sbeingintown.iknewitmyself,asitwasknowntomissbingley;butherbrotherisevenyetignorantofit.thattheymighthavemetwithoutillconsequenceisperhapsprobable;buthisregarddidnotappeartomeenoughextinguishedforhimtoseeherwithoutsomedanger.perhapsthisconcealment,thisdisguisewasbeneathme;itisdone,however,anditwasdoneforthebest.onthissubjectihavenothingmoretosay,nootherapologytooffer.ifihavewoundedyoursister'sfeelings,itwasunknowinglydoneandthoughthemotiveswhichgovernedmemaytoyouverynaturallyappearinsufficient,ihavenotyetlearnttocondemnthe
“withrespecttothatother,moreweightyaccusation,ofhavinginjuredmr.wickham,icanonlyrefuteitbylayingbeforeyouthewholeofhisconnectionwithmyfamily.ofwhathehasparticularlyaccusedmeiamignorant;butofthetruthofwhatishallrelate,icansummonmorethanonewitnessofundoubtedveracity.
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